A TV program should always capture the attention and interest of the viewer for the following episodes. As the director of the new TV program based on the story of Ernest Hemingway, A Day's Wait, I will do my best to do so by creating a proper setting for each episode and by enlarging the internal conflict of the story with different contradictions that people could be part of from a country to another.
In the story of A Day’s Wait, the setting is an important aspect since the internal conflict is based on it. There is a contradiction between the French Celsius and the English Fahrenheit. The story takes place in the 1930’s in Europe, probably in France. To create this setting, the costumes of the actors will be important. Since the great Depression just began, families had no money to spend on clothes or shoes. Men and women would only get the clothes they could afford. In this case, the costumes of the actor would not look to expensive. The house in which the story will take place would be with smooth white walls and a sleek streamlined appearance. They would be cube-shaped homes to express the spirit of the machine age. With this setting, the Europe 1930 will be dissimulated threw the viewers eyes. But the TV program would not only refer to the 1930 years in Europe, but all around the world. The TV show will present the differences between a lot on country. In this case, a lot of different setting will be presented.
The internal conflict of the boy will be showed as something very popular in children mind. Every episode would show this conflict in a different aspect always in the mind of a child. For example, a child could make the mistake between miles and kilometres as mentioned in the story. Furthermore, not only children form Europe or America would be conscientious of this conflict but children from all around the world. Each episode would last thirty minutes. In this case, the TV program would then intensify the internal conflict of A Day’s Wait. The whole TV program would be developed around this idea. However the first episode of the TV program will be the story as describe in A Day’s Wait. It would keep its originality so the viewers understand clearly what the TV program is trying to make them realize. The first episode will then stick with the setting as mentioned before and with the same ending of Hemingway story.
Hemingway’s story, A Day’s Wait, is a capturing story that will keep the viewer attention.
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Peer editing
First off, the thesis statement is clear, but could be more specific. It could briefly state the main ideas of the following paragraphs. The last sentence of the introduction should also be rephrased.
The first paragraph is very strong. The main idea is clear and well explained. However, the main idea of the second paragraph is unclear. It should be rewritten and explained in further detail. Some sentences in the first paragraph, such as the 5th one, could be removed to make room in the second paragraph.
The conclusion should be rewritten because it introduces new ideas that were not developped in the main body. It sould refer back to the introduction and the main ideas of the essay and end less abruptly. The word "however" should also be replaced with another to create a smoother transition and announce the end of the essay. The transition between the first and second paragraph should also be improved.
The verb tenses should be changed, since they are not the same throughout the essay. Also, some words are used incorrectly (ex. dissimulated, streamlined, conscientious).
Generally, however, the ideas are well developpped and the essay is well structured. The ideas are also original and interresting.
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